So the Federal Reserve, to no one's surprise, is going to adjust its portfolio, selling short-term debt and buying long-term debt in a effort to drive interest rates down below the surface of the sea and involve mermaids in the magical business of monetary policy and the recovery of the U.S. economy. They're calling it "Operation Twist," after a similar maneuver that was last executed in 1961, back when Chubby Checker had the kids a-twistin' like Ben Bernanke after a barbecue lunch with Rick Perry in Lubbock. (MSNBC actually tracked down Chubby for his perspective, and he provided the in-fact quite good advice to just spend money).
Even the Fed, it turns out, can't get enough of the 'Mad Men' era. What's next? Let's hope it's not "Operation Cuban Missile Crisis."
Operation Twist Again probably isn't going to perform miracles — economists figure it could add slightly to GDP growth and bring unemployment down marginally. But it's disappointing that our economy is in such a downer that our Central Bank has to set the Wayback Machine to the Kennedy Administration to come up with its voodoo — and that American culture has gotten so bad at generating cool new names for dances that the Fed has to reference a year when the Dow started at 610 and finished at 731. Not that we'll headed for those numbers again. But I'm just saying'…
When it comes to shaking both our literal and financial booty, we truly are a nearly bankrupt nation.
At any rate, I'm throwing this one over to the commenters, Twitter, and Facebook. Let's rebrand Operation Twist Again! I'm thinking about inventing a whole new dance, called the "Ponzi." Wonder if the Fed would consider that one?
Photo: Getty Images/Bill McCay