Photo by cityyear/Andy Dean via Flickr Creative Commons
Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary has honored some of our culture's finest letter arrangements with inclusion in its latest edition. AP compiled a list of the choicest additions, but failed to use them in a sentence. We fixed that.
THE WORST STORY MAYBE EVER
Washing away the day's brain cramp with a variety of cooly pretentious craft beers, Henry calculated the systemic risk of quitting his job to travel the globe with the circus. Perhaps his situation had reached a tipping point and was tumbling into toxic territory. Perhaps he was simply under the influence of the "It's a Small World" earworm he'd acquired earlier while reading about Disneyland's geocaching bomb scare.
While enjoying a Calvin and Hobbes retrospective on his e-reader at the local gastropub -- his extensive collection of 80s and 90s comics were never more than a cloud away -- Henry's life coach Rose, who'd developed quite a following on YouTube, appeared with the long anticipated mash-up of Sesame Street and Street Fighter. It was the aha moment Henry longed for all day.
Dropping f-bombs like NSFW high fives, he congratulated Rose and wished her well on the upcoming journey to India. After a year underwater, and shovel-ready for a life rebuild of her own, Rose would finally be able to cross this trip off her bucket list.
Gassed after spending all day in the secondary man cave, hungry Henry could no longer suppress the flexitarian urges that threatened him away from copernicium-like seitan and toward obesogenic bone-in filet.
He decided to forego food altogether and sext his girl. "This one might be a game changer," he said quietly to himself. "I could probably use an energy drink."
THE NEW WORDS
- aha moment n (1939): a moment of sudden realization, inspiration, insight, recognition, or comprehension
- brain cramp n (1982): an instance of temporary mental confusion resulting in an error or lapse of judgment
- bucket list n (2006): a list of things that one has not done before but wants to do before dying
- cloud computing n (2006): the practice of storing regularly used computer data on multiple servers that can be accessed through the Internet
- copernicium n (2009): a short-lived artificially produced radioactive element that has 112 protons
- craft beer n (1986): a specialty beer produced in limited quantities: MICROBREW
- earworm n (1802) 1: CORN EARWORM 2: a song or melody that keeps repeating in one's mind
- energy drink n (1904): a usually carbonated beverage that typically contains caffeine and other ingredients (as taurine and ginseng) intended to increase the drinker's energy
- e-reader n (1999): a handheld electronic device designed to be used for reading e-books and similar material
- f-bomb n (1988): ... used metaphorically as a euphemism
- flexitarian n (1998): one whose normally meatless diet occasionally includes meat or fish
- game changer n (1993): a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way
- gassed adj (1919) ... 2 slang: drained of energy: SPENT, EXHAUSTED
- gastropub n (1996): a pub, bar, or tavern that also offers meals of high quality
- geocaching n (2000): a game in which players are given the geographical coordinates of a cache of items which they search for with a GPS device
- life coach n (1986): an advisor who helps people make decisions, set and reach goals, or deal with problems
- man cave n (1992): a room or space (as in a basement) designed according to the taste of the man of the house to be used as his personal area for hobbies and leisure activities
- mash-up n (1859): something created by combining elements from two or more sources: as a: a piece of music created by digitally overlaying an instrumental track with a vocal track from a different recording b: a movie or video having characters or situations from other sources c: a Web service or application that integrates data and functionalities from various online sources
- obesogenic adj (1986): promoting excessive weight gain: producing obesity
- sexting n (2007): the sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone
- shovel-ready adj (1998): of a construction project or site: ready for the start of work
- systemic risk n (1982): the risk that the failure of one financial institution (as a bank) could cause other interconnected institutions to fail and harm the economy as a whole
- tipping point n (1959): the critical point in a situation, process, or system beyond which a significant and often unstoppable effect or change takes place
- toxic adj (1664) ... 4: relating to or being an asset that has lost so much value that it cannot be sold on the market
- underwater adj (1672) ... 3: having, relating to, or being a mortgage loan for which more is owed than the property securing the loan is worth
Write us your own ridiculous story with the new fancy words. Drop a sentence or two in the comments.