Photo by cityyear/Andy Dean via Flickr Creative Commons
Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary has honored some of our culture's finest letter arrangements with inclusion in its latest edition. AP compiled a list of the choicest additions, but failed to use them in a sentence. We fixed that.
THE WORST STORY MAYBE EVER
Washing away the day's brain cramp with a variety of cooly pretentious craft beers, Henry calculated the systemic risk of quitting his job to travel the globe with the circus. Perhaps his situation had reached a tipping point and was tumbling into toxic territory. Perhaps he was simply under the influence of the "It's a Small World" earworm he'd acquired earlier while reading about Disneyland's geocaching bomb scare.
While enjoying a Calvin and Hobbes retrospective on his e-reader at the local gastropub -- his extensive collection of 80s and 90s comics were never more than a cloud away -- Henry's life coach Rose, who'd developed quite a following on YouTube, appeared with the long anticipated mash-up of Sesame Street and Street Fighter. It was the aha moment Henry longed for all day.
Dropping f-bombs like NSFW high fives, he congratulated Rose and wished her well on the upcoming journey to India. After a year underwater, and shovel-ready for a life rebuild of her own, Rose would finally be able to cross this trip off her bucket list.
Gassed after spending all day in the secondary man cave, hungry Henry could no longer suppress the flexitarian urges that threatened him away from copernicium-like seitan and toward obesogenic bone-in filet.
He decided to forego food altogether and sext his girl. "This one might be a game changer," he said quietly to himself. "I could probably use an energy drink."