Photo by mollyali via Flickr Creative Commons

Sad Simmons impersonator takes a break at the Coffee Bean on Hollywood Blvd.

By the looks of his Twitter page, no one bothered to tell Gene Simmons or the band that it's National Kiss Day. Not that kind of "KISS," you say? Well maybe it should be. If Twitter can make up a holiday, so can we. Happy National KISS Day. 

KISS Then She Kissed Me"

KISS "Love Gun"

KISS "Beth"

KISS "Black Diamond" at The Forum in Los Angeles 1977

Lisa Brenner can be reached via Twitter @lisa_brenner

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Photo by tonystl via Flickr Creative Commons

Former MLB star Jose Canseco was told "no," or as it's said in Spanish, "no," by the Mexican Baseball League on Wednesday after he admitted to taking testosterone and refused to take a drug test, officials said. Canseco had been trying to join the Quintana Roo Tigers, and had reportedly stated a desire to one day return to the majors.

Following the news of the no-go, the unreserved 47-year-old defended himself on Twitter telling followers not to believe the media, and that the substance he takes is prescription and necessary.

Canseco created his Twitter account in 2009, it seems, but recent buzz has brought to light his special brand of absurd theatre in which he expresses disillusionment and loneliness, inquires about pseudoscience monsters, challenges Shaquille O'Neal to a fight, and rants in a highly NSFW (Not Safe For Work) fashion.

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Michael Nagle/Getty Images

• LAPD's facial recognition software might not be as amazing as some spy movies, but it's still pretty great. (Hat tip: Los Angeles, I'm Yours)


• If Homeland Security comes after me, I will assume it's due to something I've jokingly tweeted. I haven't threatened to "destroy America" yet, as a couple 20-something Brits did before coming to the States and promptly being interrogated, placed in holding cells, then sent back to their native land.


• In other flight misadventures: A Southwest flight from L.A. to Denver accidentally knocked over a light pole on its way to the gate. Wait a second, I fly Southwest. Uh oh.


• The new Spider-Man movie isn't out until July, but they're already trying to get the buzz going. They're promoting the movie on Twitter and hosting preview screenings around the country, including here in L.A., this weekend. Good luck scoring a ticket, though; preview passes from the official site are already sold out.


• Moby has a new blog! About... L.A. architecture? OK, sure, Moby. (Hat tip: Los Angeles, I'm Yours)


• Kermit and Miss Piggy fire back at Fox News after accusations that the new Muppets movie exhibits liberal bias. (Hat tip: Indecision Forever)
  
  


• Anyone else as interested in the weird overly hyped career of Lana Del Rey, which I think both peaked and crashed with her recent Saturday Night Live performance, should check out this Lana Del Rey timeline from Vulture.


• Sadly, there's no Ferris Bueller's Day Off sequel in the works, but there's a Super Bowl ad that plays off Matthew Broderick's classic role, with Broderick playing hooky from a movie set a la Bueller. It's debuted early online. (It also includes my Twitter pal/actor/comic book journalist Mike Romo!) (Hat tip: iFanboy)
  
  


• Artist Danny Haas does some great iconographic art featuring various superheroes (including a great piece of Superman art he kindly let me use for my Geek Pilgrims podcast), and he's back taking on female icons like Wonder Woman, Supergirl and Catwoman.


• Comedians Tim & Eric's new film, "Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie," apparently didn't please Sundance audiences. About a third of the audience walked out. Oops. You'll have your chance to see if it's worth walking out of on March 2.


• Twitter, apparently inspired by the Laser Cats videos from Saturday Night Live, produced this intentionally cheesy video intended to sell you on the idea of working for Twitter. (Hat tip: (The Daily What)
  
  

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AP Photo/Lennox McLendon

Cher wins Best Actress for her role in "Moonstruck" at the Academy Awards (April 12, 1988).

Cher not dead, repeat, Cher not dead. 

Research be damned and hoaxes denied, Kim Kardashian picked up the seductively rotten scent of a celebrity death rumor last night and passed it on like a socially transmitted disease to her 12 million Twitter followers.

Over-sharing to the tune of three communiqués about the singer's questionable life status, the unverified masses threw nailpolish remover on the plastic fire, trending toxic fumes around the globe.

Gypsys, tramps, and thieves were all relieved in the digital wake of this old fashioned rumor to learn that the multi-award winning icon was a-OK.

Bright side? A somewhat relevant reason now exists for posting Cher's "Hell on Wheels" video.

Looking remarkably like a beer commercial, this early music video features the singer in zebra spandex outrunning a big rig on her roller skates. 

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Is Twitter bad for your dating life? Statistics say "maybe."

Online dating site OKCupid has a spinoff that looks into the statistical data gleaned from all those lonely hearts, OKTrends. They continually churn out great insights that have the ring of truth, even though they're gleaned from a self-selecting group.

They did a blog post called "10 Charts About Sex," but the one that's getting the most attention around the Internet is the one answering "How long do your relationships usually last?" The chart pits people who use Twitter every day against everyone else, and while the arcs are similar, Twitter users are a bit behind everyone else throughout the age range listed on the chart, and it also holds across genders.

As many of my college science teachers would be quick to note, correlation does not mean causation, so is this just because people who use Twitter are less likely to be in long-term relationships? Or is something about feeling attached enough to Twitter to be doing it every day have a negative effect on your relationships? As OKTrends describes it, "Unfortunately, we have no way to tell who's dumping who here; whether the twitterati are more annoying or just more flighty than everyone else."

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