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It's over: A guide to the End of the World, Dec. 21

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52438 full

A Mayan crocodile that lives in the sky and vomits water has suggested the end of the world will occur Dec. 21. That's Friday. You have been notified.

It has been said that when the galactic conjunction crosses the great cycle on the winter solstice during the completion of the 13th b'ak'tun at the end of the 5125-year long count calendar, Planet X will begin its dark approach, the Sun will flare Earth into geomagnetic reversal, and in backward precession we will welcome the dawning Age of Aquarius.

Zombies were just a red herring. If anything, this a hippie apocalypse.

Navigating ancient prophecy in modern-day Los Angeles is a deeply personal undertaking. One man's solstice is another man's doomsday. One woman's planetary alignment is another woman's revelation. But it doesn't matter how you tell the story. The ending is the same. The world as we know it is over. That inarguably happened last week. No one feels fine. 

As chaperones at this end-of-civilization dance it's now our responsibility to help escort in the new era, provided it's dressed for the occasion and on board with a program of global peace. There is no reasonable alternative. There are no ins and outs. No exceptions. 

May the conceptual and/or physical end of the world unfold for you like every "X-Files" fantasy realized. 

What's your plan for the end of the world?

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