The disappointing truth is that some people lie about their fireworks videos. According to YouTube, 3,540 users say theirs is the "BEST FIREWORK EVER!!!" Mmhmm.
To lessen the heartache of hyperbole, KPCC has weeded out the false promises, the un-delivered spectaculars and the grossly overstated displays of hot air (we've also filtered for drunken racists and accidental palm tree fires).
What's left is an arsenal of footage worthy of the booming, chaotic patriotism we've come to enjoy annually as Americans.
With all the subtlety of a bull in a body parts shop, July Fourth arrives this Thursday. Make good decisions.
POP QUIZ: What's the average temperature of a sparkler? (ANSWER: below)
FIREWORKS LOS ANGELES
POP ANSWER: 1000°F, says Parenting.com