Photo by Kristoffer Tripplaar-Pool/Getty Images
Lindsay Lohan at the 2012 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner.
For reasons each more disturbing than the next, the state of actress Lindsay Lohan's health continues to be a source of perpetual scandal, even if it's not entirely true.
Friday morning, ABC and other news outlets partially misreported that the 25-year-old was found unconscious in the penthouse of the Marina del Rey Ritz-Carlton Hotel, and that paramedics transported the actress to a hospital.
News of the news prompted what is perhaps society's least sensitive display of concern, a Twitter death watch, and its many variations:
Sure, $42 seemed like a lot of money at the time, but Lindsay Lohan is the Tom Brady of any Celebrity Death Fantasy Auction League.— Adam Smoot (@adamsmoot) June 15, 2012
Chiming in from Minneapolis with something resembling a conscience, one user took a more collective approach to the former child star's well being:
Lindsay Lohan's appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend was a huge success, reeling in the biggest ratings the sketch comedy show has garnered since Charles Barkley hosted the season premier.
The former child star who recently appeared on the cover of Playboy magazine had nothing new to promote on this, her 4th appearance on SNL, but that didn't stop audiences from tuning in to watch her and musical guest Jack White. The combo brought in a 5.5 overnight household rating.
The good news is people watched. The bad news was, they watched closely. And like a nation full of Mean Girls, they judged.
47% of those who participated in an Entertainment Weekly poll clicked the option that read: "That was, unquestionably, the worst host job of the season. It was bad. Like, January Jones bad."