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Lindsay Lohan at the 2012 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner.
For reasons each more disturbing than the next, the state of actress Lindsay Lohan's health continues to be a source of perpetual scandal, even if it's not entirely true.
Friday morning, ABC and other news outlets partially misreported that the 25-year-old was found unconscious in the penthouse of the Marina del Rey Ritz-Carlton Hotel, and that paramedics transported the actress to a hospital.
News of the news prompted what is perhaps society's least sensitive display of concern, a Twitter death watch, and its many variations:
Sure, $42 seemed like a lot of money at the time, but Lindsay Lohan is the Tom Brady of any Celebrity Death Fantasy Auction League.— Adam Smoot (@adamsmoot) June 15, 2012
Chiming in from Minneapolis with something resembling a conscience, one user took a more collective approach to the former child star's well being:
Authorities photograph a vessel that was completely destroyed in a collision with another boat in the Marina Del Rey Main Channel on Sunday, May 27, 2012.
A boating accident in Marina Del Rey on Sunday split a vessel clean in half and sent one person to the hospital, the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department said.
According to a statement, sheriff’s deputies got the call at about 8:20 a.m. Sunday that a man piloting a motorboat in the Marina Del Rey Main Channel had rammed into an outrigger vessel with nine people aboard it, cutting the vessel in two and injuring a Riverside woman.
Deputies arrived in time to fish the woman from the water. She was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where she was treated and later released.
Others were hurt as well, though not as seriously.
The lone occupant of the motorboat, Peter Sorrento of Chatsworth, was cited for “failure to follow established boating rules,” deputies said.
An outrigger is a rigid extension attached to the hull of a non-motorized craft, such as a canoe, to give it more stability. These and other types of watercraft were out in large numbers during the Memorial Day weekend, authorities said. Sheriff’s deputies ask that boaters take extra precautions when holiday crowds are on the water.
A hit-and-run driver caused this patrol car to crash in Marina Del Rey on Monday, May 28, 2012.
Two officers patrolling Marina Del Rey were sent to the hospital early Monday after another driver clipped their cruiser -- sending it veering out of control and slamming into bus stop benches -- before fleeing the scene.
The hit-and-run happened around 2 a.m. this morning near the intersection of Washington Boulevard and Pacific Avenue, only a block from the water. According to witnesses, the SUV cut off the police cruiser, causing the crash. NBC says the officers were treated and released.
The cruiser hit the benches head-on, causing extensive damage to the vehicle’s front end. No one else was hurt in the crash.
Police have not yet released a description of the SUV or its driver.
Anyone who thinks they may have information on the incident is asked to call LAPD’s Pacific Division at (310) 202-4579.
Someone repelled down the side of this building, the Regatta Condominiums in Marina Del Rey, and broke into an apartment on the 15th floor.
Police are still trying to find the culprit in a daring, Pink Panther-esque break-in of a luxury condominium in Marina Del Rey who slipped down the side of the high-rise building on a rope, broke into an apartment and neglected to steal anything.
Whoever it was, he reportedly repelled several floors down the side of the Regatta Condominiums complex -- a 19-floor stack of high-end apartments at Maxella Avenue and Lincoln Boulevard -- on Saturday morning and knocked at the window of one woman’s place on the 15th floor. She saw him hanging there, didn’t know him and decided not to let him in, according to KTLA.
Instead she let herself out the front door and called police.
The daredevil, meanwhile, decided to enter the apartment anyway by prying the windows open with a crowbar. He was gone by the time police arrived.