An Open Letter to Ricky Martin

By now you’ve heard the news that Ricky Martin is gay.

We checked, and there was no uptick in people either driving off the road or falling out of their chairs when the news broke. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to write the following open letter to Ricky Martin.

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Dear Ricky,

Please don’t think I don’t appreciate the sentimental gesture of you coming out on my 44th birthday. I’m touched that you remembered.

But I'm sorry … I already have a husband, and we're very happy.

And as much as I respect you for having the guts to make such a public proposal -- like those guys who ask their girlfriends to marry them on the Jumbotron at Dodger Stadium – I must decline.

Now, had you come out ten years ago, we might have had something to talk about.

Can we still be friends?

- John
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No response yet.

PS: I came out publicly some time in the 1990s with absolutely no impact on my international recording career.

(Photo: Ricky Martin (left … or right ... I’m not really sure), at the beach, apparently surrendering.)

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