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A hamburger similar to the ones being sold at an unnamed school in Southern California.
A friend of Off-Ramp, who shall remain nameless, writes:
There's a drug dealer in my daughter's school.
He's not selling pot, crack or meth; he's selling ... hamburgers.
He buys them in bulk in the early morning and has a group of carefully selected minions deal them out to students at a 200% markup. All of his cohorts have to have a GPA of 2.0 or more, because he figures they are less likely to be watched, and he cuts them in on a percentage of their sales. In spite of these transactions being strictly verboten, at the end of the morning there is No Burger Left Behind.
My daughter says some of her teachers know about it, but they turn a blind eye because they find it less harmful than sugary snacks, as well as a creative implementation of supply and demand.
When my daughter told me about this last night I was riveted, not just by the story, but in the way she relayed it: cheerful, ironic voice and a twinkle in her eye, as if she found the whole scenario absurd and admirable at the same time.