My children, the Fall season, Part 2: Loser Moms

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Oct. 12, 2009

Sandra Tsing Loh is in search of a mommy playdate.

This is Sandra Tsing Loh with The Loh Life. Today’s topic: My Children, The Fall Season. Part Two: Loser Moms.

So I’ve been describing the modern conundrum of trying to get one’s children together over the weekend with other children. It’s true in L.A., one can simply take one’s kids to the park, where they will immediately meet and begin to play with friendly children.

But if that park is in my neighborhood of Van Nuys, those children will tend to have Latino, Armenian, and Russian mothers, not all of whom are English-speaking. So I need to bring a book. And I can. And do.

But perhaps there was a new kind of playdate that would be fun for The Mother too. So I began checking in with all my old girlfriends, the ones I had before we had babies and disappeared into motherdom. To see if we could all get ourselves and our kids together.

But unlike my journalist friend Laura, I had neglected to enroll my girls in a frenetic schedule of The Nutcracker, gymnastics, and dance team! Unlike my college professor friend Carol, our family was not on academic sabbatical in Northern California. And then in upstate New York!

[Leaving behind only her outgoing phone announcement: "Hi. You’ve reached the home of Dave, Carol, Sam, and Emily! We can’t get to the phone right now, leave a message!" It was as though Carol herself were running, while shouting the message into the machine.]

It became clear to me that what I needed to start making were lazy mom friends, the kind who hung around the house in the afternoons with a mug of wine and the television. You know? Like David Sedaris’ mom.

But, upon googling "family events" on my computer, I realized I could fight back with even more exciting cultural events, to dangle before other families! You thought our family was boring? Look again! Look at our fall repackaging!

My girlfriend Ann’s family had a membership to Kidspace Museum. I could one-up them with a membership to the Huntington! Ann did seem intrigued on the phone. "Ooh, we’ve never been to the Huntington. I heard they have a special..." She couldn’t remember exactly what it was. A Chinese garden? Roccoco fountains? A petting zoo?

"Yes," I said blithely, unable to find my notes either, but riffing. "I’m pretty sure next weekend the Huntington has a children’s mask-making workshop during some kind of eco-pumpkin patch thing. Starring Pilobolus!"

In the middle of this frenzy, my friend Samantha came into town with her baby. Because Ben can’t actually walk yet, time immediately slowed down, with a blanket, Gladware, and some wooden spoons – and nursing, burping, and napping – a schedule that could accommodate just maybe a little maskwork. We’ll see.

Timothy Liang
1 month ago

Only you could delve into these niche facets of motherhood life with so much color and exuberance and skill. Do you remember when you were a child and how your parents treated you? I think many people would love to hear about your childhood through the eyes of your current wisdom.

Annelise
4 weeks, 1 day ago

Is there no podcast for this week (i.e. Mon. 10.19)?? Please don't deprive us from Sandra's weekly fix! Take care. Annelise

Flo
4 weeks ago

Yes, where are the podcasts -- I missed the last four weeks and would like to catch up.

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