The Loh Life

The Loh Life is writer/performer Sandra Tsing Loh's weekly take on life, family, and pop culture in early 21st century Southern California. Hosted by Sandra Tsing Loh

Gentlemen Robbers: Zen Burglary-- part 2

by The Loh Life

Sandra Tsing Loh appreciates the professionalism of her gentlemen robbers.

So JUST after New Year's our home was burgled, and everyone has been gratifyingly outraged. Exclaimed my friend Diane: "It's not just losing your things, it's the VIOLATION!"

All true-- And yet, I have to say I've EMERGED from the incident feeling very Zen. In this era of Occupy Wall Street and the 99% versus the 1%, whose stuff should be whose anyway?

On the one hand, as someone who has been robbed many times-- I think the first time was in college 30 years ago, probably a Walkman-

Well, I appreciated that our burglars took JUST WHAT THEY NEEDED. . . to get that evening's drug money. Three old cheapo laptops, two 10 year old IPODS, one of which is broken, and a jar of pennies. They took only the power cords required to run the electronic units in question, and left all the other cords plugged in where they were, neatly coiled--

There was no wild ransacking or underwear DRAWER spilling or REDRUM slashed across the bathroom mirror as in a Stephen King movie. As a weathered Angeleno, I appreciated the professionalism. Gentlemen robbers!

Of course, it is quite annoying to have your laptop CONTENT stolen, including not just your Quicken RECORDS but EIGHT YEARS OF WRITING--!

Although.....full disclosure here-- A few months ago, I tripped while carrying my lunch and spilled, I kid you not, an ENTIRE BOWL OF SOUP all over my laptop-- It was one of the most SPECTACULARLY idiotic things I've done-- I watched myself DO it as if in slow MOTION, in a kind of awed disbelief--

The laptop sparked, died, unplug, replug, jiggle plug, totally dead. Weepily I GRIEVED for all of my LOST brilliant work. Fast forward three weeks, the technicians miraculously bring it all BACK-- I have a joyous reunion with all of my old DRAFTS and realize. . . they weren't as great as I thought. They were better in my memory. A kind of Buddhist lesson here. silver lining after a burglary is going through your house and rediscovering treasured items they DIDN'T take. "I hope I still have my fork and spoon earrings-yes! Here they are, still on my nightstand!"

It's like getting things re-gifted! But then you start to wonder, "Well, why DIDN'T they take my fork and spoon earrings? Did they consider my whimsical metal jewelry VALUELESS? Oh no, how insulting, they thought a really really heavy pickle jar of PENNIES was worth more!"
In short, overall, I feel oddly lighter.

Think the incredible lightness of BEING a person who perhaps has too much junk in the first place. I don't WISH to be robbed again, but if there IS a next time I hope they steal our old Christmas tree.

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