So last Friday night I binge-watched "Chef's Table" on Netflix. It's a documentary series about world-class chefs. Who appear to be 90% men.
Think about that for a second. I did - and you know what? There's a double standard in this country regarding men, women, food and, well-food entertainment. It's no secret women have long borne the lion's share of cooking in U.S. households. We've also done most of the grocery-shopping, housecleaning, laundry, childcare, and, oh yeah, the dishes! Ah, the lifestyle! When will we get a glamorous Housecleaning Channel, or Laundry Channel? Even better: a channel of just men doing laundry!
But no, enter "food scientist" Alton Brown. He is always cooking, alone, in his kitchen, sterile as the inside of a Philippe Patek watch. The phone doesn't ring, dogs don't run through, children don't howl. He never has to run back to Ralphs for that one thing. He never washes a dish. I humbly ask you: Aren't there patches of time, while waiting for the pasta to boil, when Mr. Brown could rinse off some pots? Maybe swap out pantry moth traps and transfer the socks to the dryer? And I wonder why I don't have a cooking show.
At least Alton Brown is cooking. What about "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" starring Guy Fieri? Here's the premise: An excitable tattooed guy of size drives into a small American town which has a famous dive- Aka: the place where all the locals go for bacon pastrami mozzarella burgers, triple fried jerk chicken, or their world-famous foot-long chili superdog with pepperoni pizza magic sauce.
Fieri watches the chef cook it, is handed a plate, takes a bite and goes: "Man!"
"I could do that job!" I've thought, many a time. "That's my dream job!"
But no. America won't have it. I ask you: Where is the show where an excitable tattooed WOMAN of size drives around the country, hangs out in restaurant kitchens, arms folded, relaxed, just chilling- then is handed a towering plate of gravy sirloin fries, takes a big gooey bite, and goes: "Man!" You see? Double standard!
Next week: #foodporn.