The humorist is back for his recurring Monday segment. Luke tells us about the Kansas governor's hurt feelings. Gov. Sam Brownback mobilized his staff against an 18-year-old high school student for writing on twitter, "told [Gov. Brownback] he sucked, in person." Also, authorities in Florida arrested three people for scamming the elderly into buying 70 years worth of toilet paper. That's right - the trio claimed the government had new environmental regulations requiring special, expensive toilet paper (they made more than $1 million). And finally, people's reaction to the shopping season.