The Loh Life is writer/performer Sandra Tsing Loh's weekly take on life, family, and pop culture in early 21st century Southern California.
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Friending Salman Rushdie

Sandra Tsing Loh tries to friend Salman Rushdie on Facebook.

I did something wacky the other day. I was enjoying a glass of merlot and some Facebook, skimming through my friends’ postings about the ODD news of the day and the HILARIOUS Bad Lip Reading videos of people like Mitt Romney and Herman Cain.

And if you haven’t seen them yet, just GOOGLE “Bad Lip Reading”-- I would have posted the YouTube link on my OWN facebook page but. . . I don’t know HOW.

Anyway, PERHAPS I was getting carried away with myself, but in a madcap MOMENT, sittin’ on Facebook, I decided to try to FRIEND. . . Salman Rushdie!

I don’t know if you CAUGHT the New York Times PIECE a couple weeks ago on Rushdie—? Don’t feel bad, I didn’t EITHER, but fortunately my Facebook friend Pam Williams did-- My FAKE friend Pam Williams, whom I don’t actually KNOW--

This is a PHENOMENON that Jimmy KIMMEL did an amusing BIT about recently also—I learned about THAT from the Facebook post of my OTHER fake friend Andrew Stern -- Anyway, Kimmel argued that people should UNFRIEND most of their Facebook CLUTTER because no one actually HAS 1000 real friends-- I mean, I only have 245 Friends, which is probably about 235 too MANY.

So I don’t know WHY I thought Rushdie would want to friend ME, particularly because he had just gone through a bit of a SCUFFLE himself with Facebook. For some reason, Facebook had abruptly changed the NAME on his page from Salman Rushdie to his LEGAL name AHMED. He was SO irate he marshaled multitudes of his fans to send out millions of angry Tweets – and lo and behold, Facebook blinked and reversed its decision.

So at FIRST, I was afraid Rushdie WOULDN’T Friend me back. THEN I thought, though, it might be even WORSE if he did. THEN I might WELL be gazing into Salman RUSHDIE’S Facebook page-- And what would it be-- Salman Rushdie’s CAT PHOTOS-- “Here’s a photo of Professor Snowball looking PENSIVE on a rainy Wednesday in New York—“ Salman Rushdie's PARTY PIX-- “Demi Moore has been LONELY—I rushdi-ed in to pick up the slack—“ Some recipes, some limericks, Bad Lip Reading, Rick Perry, I don’t know.

So THAT’s what I take solace in, given that Salman Rushdie has yet to friend me back, partly I think because at 49, I am like 30 years OLDER than most of his four ex-wives. And that is about the only CLEAR thing on MY Facebook page. Well, that, and those funny kissing Red Pandas at the Tokyo Zoo. Good stuff. Ah me.