What began as a friendly conversation about a sugary snack quickly devolved in a cereal box-ing match. Snap, Crackle, and Pop in one corner, coaching Off-Ramp intern Jesus Ambrosio on the benefits of a less sweet breakfast, and Cap'n Crunch in the other, medicating fellow intern Rosalie Atkinson with more than a spoonful of sugar.
This week, KPCC's Quality of Life team hosted a breakfast social for employees, with a dozen brands of cereal, granola, and oatmeal, and practically every type of milk Whole Foods sells.
Things were going great until Jesus admitted ... he likes bland cereal. "I can't do cereal that's sweet because it just really hurts the top of my mouth... It's all the sugar that's on top of it that really like- grinds the top of your mouth. Anytime you have Frosted Flakes, anytime you have Trix, about that cereal just hurts the top of your mouth."
Rosalie couldn't accept it. "Cap'n Crunch tears up the top of your mouth because ... they are basically little razor blades that taste like berries. They might as well be volcanic rock... but you love it anyways! That's the whole point: the post-pain reminds you of how good it was."
Jesus wasn't having it: "Regular Cheerios are okay." Rosie's reaction? "How could you ever wake up in the morning from a nice nights sleep and think 'You know what I want? To eat Cheerios which are basically cardboard.'"
They agreed to disagree, and came up with this breakfast listicle.
Off-Ramp's Serious Cereal Listicle for Serial Cereal Eaters:
1. Honey Bunches of Oats (with fruit)
This one was a complete compromise. Because the primary sweetness comes from the freeze-dried fruit, Jesus can enjoy his oat-y flakes with minimal interruption and Rosalie can get a little sugar fix. Therefore if Jesus and Rosalie were forced to share a single type of cereal- this would be it.
2. Frosted Mini-Wheats
Because they are only frosted on one side, you don’t have to worry about hurting your mouth. Pro-Tip: The crumbs at the bottom of the bag are always a treat.
3. Fruity Pebbles
A subdued sweetness and tiny little composition. Reminiscent of both Jesus' favorite (Rice Krispies) in shape and Rosalie's (Captain Crunch) in flavor, without leaning too much one direction. A delicious option for those subtle sweeties out there.
4. Cap'n Crunch
We aren't cuckoo; of course the Cap'n made the list.
5. Rice Krispies
Snap, Crackle, and Pop are iconic; because onomatopoeia. The best part is when the cereal stop making the sound, which means you just have to pour yourself another bowl. Nuanced hints of sweetness.
What kind of cereal will you defend in the ring? Tweet the interns at @RoAtkinson and @jesusambrosio_ and let them know! And listen to the whole debate in the audio player near the top of your screen.